April 27, 2010

#14: Romance is about the little things.

texas weather

April 26, 2010

so… texas weather is crazy!   i start my run around 330 in 85 degree humidity… and by the time im about two blocks from my apartment complex around 450, the sky gets darker and i notice the clouds have appeared.  then out of nowhere i hear thunder cracking right above my head and the rain starts pouring, and i mean hail kind of pouring.    p.s. its still humid and now sunny and raining.  i think thats the worst kind of rain, when its still hot.  now your just sticky. of course this would happen on the one day i decide to finally start running.  ha. go figure 🙂

i’ve been working alot and really tonight was my only day off the past week and i work the next five nights straight. having said that, you would think that i would go party it up to relax, but no i chose to have a quiet night in watching movies.  i chose Under the Tuscan Sun and im really glad i did… very uplifting and made me think.  here was a few of my favorite quotes.

  • “Terrible idea…don’t you just love those?”  i love this quote because so many wonderful things are spun from what we first thought was a terrible idea. it is all about risks and taking chances. i love this quote because I want to be more daring this way.
  • “Never lose your childish enthusiasm and things will come your way.”  have you ever seen the pure joy in a childs eyes when they experience something new, or when they discover something for the first time?  its the little things that keep a child entertained.  somedays i find myself having the best days and smiling the most when i’ve taken the time to enjoy the little things that life has to offer.  and honestly, what’s more gorgeous than someone who finds joy in the little things, who doesn’t care what others think, and who smiles not because of someone else, but because of their own innate happiness.
  • “Regrets are a waste of time. They’re the past crippling the present.”  this just reminds me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to move forward with my life. this quote really hit home with me for i have tendency to wish i had done things differently. i also tend to let things from my past continue to hold me down in my life at the moment… recently i’ve let go of the past and i’ve moved on and i’m so thankful for that because i’m a better person because of it.
  • “life offers you a thousand chances … all you have to do is take one.” i just love this quote for the fact that life offers you an abundance of chances, it just depends on what you do with those chances.  whether you make the most of them or whether you let them bring you down.
  • “How are you ever going to be happy if you keep wallowing?  Listen, when I was a little girl, I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I’d just give up and fall asleep in the grass.  when I woke up, they were crawling all over me.”  omg. this has soooo much meaning to me right now.  the best things come to you when you stop looking…

just a thought…

April 23, 2010

…everybody starts out with the same twenty-four hours in every day.  how we choose to spend these hours defines who we are and the life we live. 

so, how will you spend your twenty-four hours?  ♥

April 19, 2010

its funny how god puts people in your life exactly when you need them.  the past 4 months or so i’ve been going back and forth about a certain issue with a friend. to date or not to date, to stay friends or become more.  well i’ve been patiently waiting for this person to realize what they want for about 10 months… in the meantime i haven’t really dated because “he’d always been in the picture”–in the background but needless to say he was there.  well this past week i decided i really just think him and i dont work well on the ‘relationship’ side of things, we argue and get mad at each other over the stupidest things, he gets jealous really easy and long distance isnt conducive to that mentality, plus really we just work better as friends.  i finally came to that conclusion last week and decided enough was enough. im done.  so i have been, i truly love that person, however i’m to the point where us being in a relationship would ruin everything so im completely content just being friends.  i think he’s realized my pulling back and has been grasping at the strings to pull me back in–

well anyways, back to where i was going with this….i  think theres alot to the saying, sometimes you miss exactly whats in front of you because you aren’t looking.  well i’ve been trying to figure out why god has rerouted my orders and im now in texas.  im a firm believer in there is a reason for everything and i’ve been trying to find the reason. its funny how when i finally closed the door on one individual, my eyes were opened (or at least the haze was lifted), and  i see the possibilities. ha. so theres this really cute boy at work. i dont think anything will come of it, but its nice eye candy for the next few months of my life.  haha

i think nights just got ALOT better.  so did texas by the way! ha.

recently, i’ve had sugarland playing on my ipod alot. i dont know why, but i go through stages.  this song came on and it hit exactly what i was feeling like today.  here is a song about wanting to be someone’s everything… “what I’d give to bring a smile across your face”, or “what I’d give to let you love me, find out everything that brings you joy, wake up to  your face above me”, or “what I’d give for just one minute, what I’d give to count all the ways.” and i think the lyric that hits most closely is “if your heart was dark with nothing in it, i’d give you mine and take your place;” it just shows the ultimate sacrifice of loving someone truly, wanting no harm or hurt to come upon that person. 

i think this song completely describes my love life at the moment. ha. it also reminds me of the song if it kills me by jason mraz (i’ve blogged on it before). about wanting to be with someone, yet knowing it will change the friendship into a relationship.  the fact that jennifer is singing about what she would give to make that person hers, and for jason the song is about wishing that person would know how they felt.  for the mere fact that friends could actually fall in love, head over heels, and not be afraid to get hurt;  it could make it completely worth it. but when you think about it really, are people willing to take that risky move?  theres the potentional should you not work out as a couple, to have ruined a great friendship.  i think a part of me will always have a wall built up… i dont know, but its something to think about. i do love to see my life sung out or displayed on a lyric page 🙂

an updated and improved random things about me, enjoy 🙂 (april 2010)

1. this is the first year that I have kept my new years resolutions so far.
2. i love to travel, i can’t wait till i can take leave or get passes approved and go somewhere new. i want to visit every state’s top landmarks.
3. i love watching documentaries, Discovery channel, and the History channel.
4. i used to hate walmart, but now i feel like it has everything you could ever need.  its awesome!
5. i recently picked up rock-climbing and i LOVE it.
6. i love to take really long showers. like ridiculously long showers.
7. i dont know if Army Nursing is what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I think i might stay in, as long as I get to see another place outside of Fort Hood.
8. i have officially given up soda, and trying to decrease my milk intake (proving to be difficult)!
9. i love good morning texts.
10. some of my best nights, i can only piece together… but the people who have shared those memories are like family to me.
11. i love ordering shoes and lingerie online, it feels like christmas–to wait in anticipation for their arrival.
12. i’m a sports fanatic. i love football mostly, beach volleyball, soccer, baseball, and UFC fighting.
13. i hate cussing or using swear words. but catch myself alot more (dang army).
14. i love hearing your beautiful or gorgeous, even if i dont feel like it somedays.
15. im still really shy around new people, but i’m trying to break that. trying 🙂
16. im slowly starting to enjoy beer.
17. i truly love working with the soldiers; they are the reasons why i get up for work everyday, well night now.
18. i want to deploy it hurts so bad.
19. i’ve fallen in love twice in my life, and Josh and Mike will forever have a place in my heart.
20. i love babies and kids. i love to see the joy on their faces.
21. i miss california alot. like it kills me that we dont have good beaches here.
22. i hate capitalizing the first letter of a sentence. it really annoys me.
23. i absolutely am in love with who i am. finally i can say that.
24. i love playing xbox 360, but i usually get frustrated and stop after an hour. plus i feel like a nerd so i dont play as much as i’d like to.
25. i still hate running, but have determined im just gonna have to suck it up.
26. i am addicted to the words with friends game on the iphone.
27. i love cooking.
28. i love to read books, right now im reading a thousand splendid suns by khaled housseini. amazing how books can take you to a totally different place.
29. i love boardgames or a game of cards.
30. i read my horoscope daily. sometimes its true, sometimes its not. 
31. i pray daily for my future husband, and for two exes.
32. i love watching military videos on youtube when i cant sleep at night. but i get emotional at times cause it makes me think of the price corey paid while deployed, as well as for josh and the danger he see daily in afghanistan right now.
33. i love fruit; pineapple, strawberries, bananas, red raspberries, mandarin oranges, peaches… etc. if i could survive off these alone, i’d be ok with that 🙂
34. i love little hole in the wall drive-ins and restaurants.
35. i hate spiders with every being of my body.
36. i love running in the rain.
37. i think i will forever be a country music girl at heart.
38. classic 70’s and 80’s music will forever remind me of mattie and josh.
39. i think the sexiest thing a girl can wear is a smile and radiate confidence.
40. i feel like music lyrics best describe my emotions, i can always find one that fits where i’m at in life.
41.  i can’t start my day without a fruit protein shake. 
42. i feel like technology runs my life, sometimes i dont mind turning my phone off for a week and i consider deleting my facebook account all the time. its just nice to get back to me without all the extras.
43. some days i feel like im just a girl, trying to get through life day to day.
44. ive come to the realization lately that sometimes my best friends know me better than i do.
45. i think i’ll always have a wall built up to some degree, i hate being disappointed and hurt.
46. i wish i had the energy of a puppy. especially lulu and heidi… they are always on the go and so excited about things.
47.  i try to enjoy the little things in life, they brighten my day.
48. i secretly wish i could sing really well. haha
49. i miss playing soccer. really, competitive team sports of any kind.
50.  i have a thing for having alot (6) pillows on my bed, but i love them.
….. well thats all i can think of right now.  hope you enjoyed

so here were my answers in January 2009…

1. I’ve lived in the same house all 23 (almost 24 years) of life.
2. I hate to admit it, but I’m spoiled by the boys in my life (Dad, Brian & Shane).
3. I hate cleaning and doing laundry–unless I’m in a bad mood than it distracts me. I usually let it sit for a week or so even when clean–i hate putting it away.
4. I don’t know if I’m ready to be a nurse–I feel like I know nothing!
5. Officially became 2nd Lieutenant Ashley Symens today 🙂
6. Just went skydiving last week (never thought I’d want to do that)… now I can’t wait to do it in every country I go to now 🙂
7. I make endless amounts of Lists EVERYDAY–they are everywhere–even if nothing gets marked off or accomplished i just feel better knowing that at one point in my day I marked out what needs to be done for the week.
8. I hate sputum and respiratory problems (probably because of my own physical issues).
9. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is my favorite show ever… i have every DVD and watch it all the time… its how i used to fall asleep at night (of course after watching 3 or 4 episodes :)).
10. I love chapstick (Pomegranate or Honey Burt’s Bees). LOVE IT.
11. When I read, I highlight or make notes in the margins on everything–sadly Nursing has corrupted me.
12. I love my girlfriends, I don’t know what I would do without them… they are my rock and sanity.
13. I read all four books of the Twilight saga in 6 days and LOVE it. (yes that is 2435 pages) 🙂
14. I love getting pedicures and facials–I just feel better and more relaxed.
15. I love having random days where Mom and I aren’t doing anything workwise or schoolwise so we go see a movie or go shopping. (we need to do more)
16. Im a sappy hopeless romantic so I cry for everything!
17. I love heels!
18. I used to have a rock collection–I still have alot of them–but no longer look for new ones.
19. I used to hate coffee, but this semester I’ve grown accustomed to it (Starbucks is my hott studying spot) 🙂
20. I LOVE Milk and Iced Tea. I could drink them all day long.
21. I love hanging out with the girls and doing nothing at all.
22. I love taking naps.
23. I sticky note EVERYTHING.
24. I think its hilarious that last semester, all us girls would do Monday night Margaritas and $1 tacos at Alcapulco to watch the football game and eat before our Nursing Ethics class at 6 🙂 hahaha good times
25. I hate running, but keep signing myself up for new challenges.

army wives

April 13, 2010

Army Wives started on Sunday and i missed it cause of work.  dang it. its alright, i made Jason watch it with me today online 🙂  yayyyy  so excited for the new season!

over the past 3 months that i’ve been in the hospital, i’ve seen the growing number of those who have attempted suicide and are now in the hospital recooperating.  obviously, we dont see the ones who have successfully finished the task, but the number who were ‘unsuccessful’ or ‘looking for attention’ is still abismal.  i dont know how many times i’ve been in the er, icu, or even on the mental health floor that our soldiers were being admitted from an intentional overdose, suicidal ideations, or even suicidal attempt.   it breaks my heart because when you finally talk to them they are hurting and just looking for help.  most often times the reasons for them to “leave this world” is due to coming back from a deployment and can’t deal with the images anymore, PTSD, marital/relationship issues, or just psychological issues in general.  i think here at fort hood we see a large number of these attempts due to the deployment schedule the soldiers follow.  some divisions just get back to only find themselves on the next deployment roster a few months later.  i know of many soldiers who just came back from a year-long deployment in november and already were profis’d for and left in march.  for young soldiers, multiple deployments are turning out to be very difficult. 

i fell upon this article when i was looking at CNN.com, and i think that its a great example of how the army is realizing that this is a problem that needs to be addressed.  i know at first when i came in i thought man i just had a suicide prevention briefing, why do i have to do one every other month… but this is the reason.  the army is seeing a huge increase in the numbers coming into our ERs and morgues, and as healthcare providers we are here to help the soldiers come back from deployments and to give them needed support so that we dont see them in our ERs as frequent flyers for multiple tried attempts.  well, enjoy the article, i thought it was interesting.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1981284,00.html

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1936085,00.html?iid=sphere-inline-sidebar

April 12, 2010

p.s. have i told you how much i LOVE STRAWBERRIES!!!!!  they are amazingly delicious. really, summer should be outlawed for me with eating.  im telling you, they just started selling them at summer rates the other day and i have bought probably 2 boxes per shopping trip (2x a week).  i go through so many strawberries, its ridiculous.