friendships cont…

May 5, 2010

friendships.  what do they mean, how do you define one?  is it someone who has always been at your side all along, or is it someone you’ve lost touch with along the way; are they still considered your friend should you come back together again one day?  i was bored at work and started thinking about all my past friendships and the friends i currently have.  you have friends for every stage of life: neighborhood friends, school-age (elementary, middle, high, college) friends, sports friends, work friends, and just friends you’ve met along the way through other people. 

i’ve had alot of friends over the years, most i keep in touch with every once in a while through the wonderful world of facebook, but for a select few i try to touch base with on a weekly basis.  i’ve always been this way when i look back, i’ve never been the type to have a hundred friends all at once, cause when that happens i find they dont really know much about me. so i’ve always had a good handful of friends who know me pretty well and i consider to be great friends. over the years, those people have been interchanged depending on my place in life, however some have held their place and for that im grateful.

but it gets me to wondering about the people who have come in and out of my life, how do you define them? are they friends or acquaintences?  when i look back on why they have come in and out, its mostly due to change in personalities, priorities, location, school or group of friends.  sometimes its not even that either one of us pushed the other away, its just life got busy and before you know it that person is no longer someone you keep in touch with.  but i find that with these friends, when they do come back in your life its as if there was no stop in time, with most i can pick up right where the friendship left off. 

and then theres the friends you lose along the way for good.  these lost friendships are usually due to disappointments, sadness, hurtful words, changes in both them as well as yourself, and just being in different places in life.  i dont have many friendships in this category but of the ones i do, those friendships hurt the worst i think.  you remember the hurtful words, you remember the dissappointing times, you remember how you felt when the friendship was over.  some of those friendships i created the break and hurt, and some were caused by the other person.  the worst hurtful friendships i believe are caused by those whom you would never have expected to hurt you or disappoint. these ones i tend to remember moreso than any other friendships gone sour. its the disappointment at the end of the day that a friend you trusted with knowing the real you could say such hurtful things or do something that you would never expect.  its those relationships that make you realize how little they valued the friendship.

so how will you define your friendships?  however you decide to define them, i just hope that you cherish them no matter what, through both the good and the bad.  because in the end you’ll feel some emotion no matter how they turn out. 


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