trust and forgiveness

April 10, 2010

lately i’ve dealt with issues of trust and forgiveness. i recently made a mistake and lied to a friend and this has since hindered our friendship and for that im sorry, because what i did is not normally like me.  i hate lying and i hate people who hurt others through lies. i truly am displeased with myself for having lost his trust in me.  i’ve apologized repeatedly and really dont know what else there is for me to show how sorry i am.  i was so hung up on why he wouldn’t forgive me so we could just move on, i didn’t realize that i truly had lost his trust in me. 

last night my devotional was on being forgiven to forgive.  it really got me to thinking about how i ask God to forgive me all the time, and i’ve been looking for Mike to forgive me, however when it comes down to it, how many times do i really forgive those who have wronged me?  so, last night at 0200 in the morning i made a list of all the times i could remember of being wronged by someone and forgave them, honestly.  i do not hold anything against those instances nor people anymore.  i didn’t do this so that hopefully karma would come back and mike would forgive me.  if he does, its because he chooses to.  i needed to do this to start a clean slate and move on with my life as a part of me has held on to these wrongs and hasn’t let go of the pain from them.  afterall, life is a process of learning about yourself, so here’s to one more learning experience.

so mike i’m sorry.  i truly love you and would never want to hurt you again. i hope you can forgive me, but if you dont i understand that as well.  love, me.

sparks, by coldplay 🙂

Did I drive you away?
I know what you’ll say.
You’ll say, “Oh, sing one we know”
But I promise you this,
I’ll always look out for you.
That’s what I’ll do.

And sing “oh”
I’ll sing “oh”

My heart is yours.
It’s you that I hold on to.
That’s what I’ll do.
But I know I was wrong,
And I won’t let you down.
(Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah I will, yes I will…)

But I’ll sing “oh”
I cry “oh”

Yeah I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks,
And I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks,
Singing out.

La, la, la, la, oh…
La, la, la, la, oh…
La, la, la, la, oh…
La, la, la, la, oh…


One Response to “trust and forgiveness”

  1. Lorinda said

    what you wrote is very hard thing to learn, but it’s a part of maturing, best done when younger or it will plague you for life.. 🙂

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