January 30, 2011

I made my mom’s pot roast today and it was heavenly! I’m so excited that it worked and it felt like i was home. It was wonderful 🙂

Although, I do have to say that i have hit the milestone of hearing the boyfriend talk about his mother’s cooking EVERYTIME i cook.  “Well that is not how my mom does it,” or “My mom uses this instead of that”.  Sorry Ann, Im sure your cooking is wonderful but it’s like geez! I’m my own person with my own way of cooking! There isn’t just one way to cook everything! AH!!!! lol.  anywhoo the brat still loved the pot roast. In fact, he had seconds and said it was amazing… so maybe he should just acknowledge my pot roast until he gets home then he can LOVE his mothers 🙂

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My mom recently posted this on her facebook page and I thought it was rather humorous… not having kids yet, but until then:

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say ‘it’s all worth it!’ Share it with your friends, both those who do and don’t have kids. I guarantee they’ll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you’ll need when you become a parent!

Champagne Mirror :)

January 3, 2011

For Christmas, the bf and I received money from my mom and dad as well as a gift card from his mom and dad… so we went to Pier 1 the other day and decided on a mirror for the downstairs living room 🙂


its perfect, so thank you guys for the wonderful gift!

2010 in review

January 2, 2011

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is on fire!.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 5,000 times in 2010. That’s about 12 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 111 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 142 posts. There were 307 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 96mb. That’s about 6 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was June 13th with 102 views. The most popular post that day was 25th birthday.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, thebomgaars.blogspot.com, nickandlanae.blogspot.com, simplesymens.blogspot.com, and en.wordpress.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for pnina tornai 31778970, being a nurse means, maggie sottero 31857907, pnina tornai say yes to the dress, and pnina tornai style no: 31778970.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

25th birthday March 2010

2

Say Yes to the Dress! July 2010

3

Being a nurse means… April 2010

4

all about me August 2009

5

dear john January 2010

…New Years Resolutions…

January 1, 2011

Last year I made new years resolutions and I did pretty good. I kept up with a good majority of my resolutions, however this year i decided to keep my resolutions functional. So here are my new years resolutions, I hope you  help keep me accountable:

1. Live a simple life, and

2. Cook more 🙂

… i wish you all a year full of blessings and happiness.  Happy 2011!