skates are on in this place…

this past month has been  VERY BUSY at work.  we had 260+ deliveries this month alone… and thats not even counting the 40+ patients we sent out to other facilities nearby.  Im exhausted after this month but i’ve had ALOT of good experiences and learning opportunities. 

have a good week 🙂

the hardest thing to hear in the world is that of a doctor telling a first time mom that he can’t find a heartbeat.  Here was my dilemma today at work. I tried for ten minutes to find a heartbeat.  I could feel the baby… this lady was tiny.  I mean i could seriously feel the baby’s head, I could see the baby’s butt.  WHY WASN”T I GETTING A HEARTBEAT???  My heart was racing. I asked another nurse to check behind me.  Maybe i was missing something, not in the right spot or just completely off today.  I mean I didn’t have my coffee like I normally do and I didn’t really sleep well last night.  Maybe it was just me.  I get the dopplar for her and my worst fears become reality.  She can’t find anything either.  She, like me, tried all over the belly. So my next step is to call the doctor to get an ultrasound to confirm. Yep, nothing either.  And they find that there is hardly any fluid surrounding the baby.  I started to cry as I stand there along with the doctors as the husband asks, “So what are you trying to tell us?”.  The doctors response cuts like a knife…”what Im trying to do is find a heartbeat, and quite frankly I can’t.”  

There are no words to describe the mixed emotions left in that room.  What is going on in their heads?  How do you support someone going through such a loss?  I can’t even imagine going through that kind of pain. Knowing that only three weeks from now you should be taking home your first son or daughter… to now have those dreams dashed.  And to think that this isn’t even the hardest part.  Yeah, hearing you no longer have a baby growing inside of you is hard.  But to have to then go through the labor process.  I mean how do you go home and have to continually look at a nursery full of stuff? That would be the worst… it’s like a daily reminder of what you weren’t able to bring home with you.  😦

ok… well now that i’ve ranted about my difficult and VERY emotional day. I wish you all a great and blessed day.

red admit one ticket

the smell of burning tires.
the vroom of a loud engine.
the ‘ba lunk a lunk a lunk’ sound coming from a Cam.
the clean beautiful frame.
the eye catching colors on your favorite muscle cars.

… that’s become my friday night and I LOVE IT! for the past few weeks, Mand I have gone to the Dragway in Temple/Holland, Tx. It’s a tiny dragstrip where it only costs $30 and you can race your car, SUV, or truck.  BTW only in texas have i seen big diesel trucks, the kind my brother Brian has, raised and racing.

My favorite part of the night is looking at the cars… some people have brought their tricked out Honda Civics, Hyundai’s, or Fords; however, I like to drool over the muscle cars: Barracuda, Camaro, Chevelle, Monte Carlo, Corvettes, and Mustangs. It really is a family ordeal, wives, kids and sometimes grandkids waiting at the starting line looking for the race time or mph to pop up on the screen.  There is the old guy driving the car off the trailer, that can talk  for hours about what he’s done to the car, and he’s just happy you’ve taken interest in the outcome.   It is especially cool to hear the reason why they chose that specific year of brand to rebuild… there is always a when i was a kid my dad had this car, or when i was here i saw this car driving by, or  that was the car i’d always see in the magazines.  Then there is that pride of hitting that 10 second time for their run, that’s the best smile to see–it is ear to ear!

My favorite part of the night I have to admit is M sitting next to me (when he wasn’t in line waiting to race his Trailblazer SS) telling me everything about each specific car or motor or engine or race tires. I sit there listening, as if I haven’t heard it from him a million times before.  But I sit there and I learn something new everytime; I amaze myself when I can actually walk up to a car and realize which one has a Cam in it and which one has a blower on it.   Are you impressed? Because I was last night. ahahaha. Maybe the watching of car shows ALL the time has paid off.  I’m actually learning this stuff, but most importantly for me, M is like a kid in a candy store when he talks about cars, SO HAPPY, its too ridiculous not to sit there and get excited with him.

have a great weekend 🙂

update on army life

so i realized today that i am 1) horrible at keeping up on my blog to update family on what’s going on with my life and 2) i have a boring life cause i sit there and think what have i done the past week?  

Well to sum it up: work, workout, army briefings/mandatory meetings, more officer development courses and sleep.  LOL. NOTHING EXCITING! I need to work on that most importantly i think. haha. 

Well, I am still at Fort Hood, Tx.  I turned my packet in for the OB (Labor and Delivery) Course in Hawaii this past week– so I should find out if I got into the February class sometime within the next month… that’s it for now.  Well i better get to sleep its an early day tomorrow and I have c/s to do (3 to be exact) meaning LONNNNNNNNNG DAY!